far greater value

"it's unfair and it's to much money" the mom said in the middle of the foyer of the dance studio.

I'm a nanny for two kids, a 7 year old girl and a 9 year old boy.

I do everything with them,

carpool, snacks, tv time, ipad time, jazz, legos, yoga, swimming, dance parties,

you get the picture. 

A scene that went down, in the "mom" area of jazz last week,

refuses to leave my brain.

The dance studios are off limits to watch.

If you want to see your kid dance you have to watch on the small screens they provide.

Ballet class ended in one of the rooms,

the door opens and kids burst out, eyes frantically searching for their mommy or nanny. 

The teacher stands at the door waiting for her next group to file in.

But before the teacher had a chance to tuck away,

into another hour of dance a long,

a mom with wild hair and two kids hanging on her, grabbed her attention. 

"it's unfair and it's to much money" the mom said in the middle of the foyer of the dance studio.

That is the moment when my full attention was grabbed.

In a calm but honest tone...

"We pay for dance every week and don't really get to watch her

and then recitals are $80 per ticket for her to be on stage for 5 minutes.

It might be embarrassing for her and I guess right now for me

but it's just to much." 

Whispers and loud children were the soundtrack of the room as mommy made her exit.

In that moment I was feeling awkward because I was actually sitting right beside the teacher

but my second thought was,

"umm hell ya that's to much money for a recital."

And ever since then, I cannot get that scenario or momma out of my head.

Why was it awkward?

Why the whispers?

Why was it embarrassing?

I guess because someone says "that's to much money" we all assume

her family must not have very much money.

Or should we assume that they do have money but they are actually being wise

by saying an $80 recital for five year olds, is ridiculous. 

But if that's not the case, is it embarrassing to not have a lot of money? 

In life, how many things have we avoided because of embarrassment.

Guess what?

Embarrassment only comes from caring what others think about us. 

We sometimes believe that people are forcing us to be embarrassed or ashamed,

when in reality, we have complete control.

Others effect on us is completely up to how much we allow their opinion to matter.

Thinking back,

it doesn't matter how much money she does or doesn't have.

It takes guts to be that momma.

Some would say that she is,

"punishing the child by not letting her do the recital"

but I say, she is living out an example that has far greater value.

She is showing her babies how to tell the truth

even when it's uncomfortable

and to stand up for what they feel is wrong.

In that moment I was the one attempting to avert my eyes

but if I could have a do-over, I would be standing right there with her. 

-hay

a different perspective

As I’m sitting here on the plane back to Houston, reflecting on the incredible week I have just experienced, it’s difficult to put into words the blessing of having the opportunity to live life with my best friends for an entire week in their home, Washington DC.  As I think back to the week I just had, I do have incredible memories that I will never forget. The inappropriate jokes that we constantly tell, Segway tours to see the city (and over coming my irrational fear of first being on the Segway), telling old hilarious stories, laughing so hard we couldn’t breathe, eating the best food I’ve had in years, walking so many miles I thought I just might have to take a baseball bat to my shins to end the pain (although I pressed on and got used to it.) staying up late, going out in DC, Katy trying to figure out the metro system, falling asleep in cabs (Yikes!), taking a spontaneous trip to Philadelphia for the day and stopping for dinner in Baltimore, sleeping in, getting hooked on new shows I know I don’t have time to watch but will now commit hours of my life to Netflix to catch up, and having deep intentional conversations.
 
I could talk all day about how much fun we had! However, I expected that. The three of us are best friends, and without fail we always have so much fun together. There’s never a dull moment between Haley, Zach and Katy…ever. So, as I write about my experiences in DC for you all to read, it is not all of the food we ate and the places we traveled that made this trip so incredible. It was the ability to live a week of real life with my two best friends and watching the most beautiful couple live life together and love each other so deeply and passionately that it leads me closer to Jesus. Haley is always writing about her experience of marriage from the inside view. While that perspective is so beautiful, insightful, and full of wisdom, I find that you can see the heart of the relationship, and where Haley comes from in her blog, by viewing them from an outside perspective. Through this perspective you see the raw, beautiful, hilarious, difficult and vulnerable side of Haley and Zach’s beautiful love for each other.
 
I’ve had the privilege of seeing the natural progression of Haley and Zach’s relationship from day one. I’ve seen Zach when he was in love with Haley, I’ve seen the very beginning of their relationship when they first started dating, I’ve seen when Haley fell head over heels, I’ve seen Zach leave for the Air Force, and I’ve watched and experienced their 3 year long distance relationship until they were engaged and finally celebrated at their wedding. Although I know Haley and Zach so well, this week revealed so much more than I could have ever imagined. I got to see Zach and Haley in their everyday element and routine 24/7. I got to experience life with them, and their love has only continually grown deeper, and more passionate.
 
We all know, either through experience or through Haley’s beautiful well-written words, how much Haley and Zach love each other. Here are some things I noticed about their relationship:
They are best friends.
They pray together each morning and night, as well as every meal.
They pray for others. They prayed over me the entire time I was there.
They encourage one another.
They compliment each other, and on deeper levels than “you’re handsome, and you’re beautiful”.
They affirm one another and remind each other of the gifts God has blessed them with.
They support one another.
They serve one another and they serve others.
They laugh at each other.
They are so hospitable.
They love others. Not only did they love me incredibly well all week they loved random people in DC. It seems insignificant, but every single time we interacted with someone, tour guide or cab driver, Haley and Zach individually took the time to ask how they were doing and take the time to converse and show true joy.
They are lighthearted, but also discuss deep topics and show the intentional conversations of marriage and faith.
 
This week I saw Haley and Zach in their best moments, but even more importantly I saw them in the tougher moments. I saw Zach and Haley have small arguments, frustrations, and setbacks. Although some of you may be asking, “Why is she going to talk about the tough parts of marriage?”. The reality is, watching them through that was one of the most encouraging things to see. Their love and their story seems like a fairy tale, and it honestly is so close to being one! But what I loved is they were real. They argued, they disagreed, they got frustrated, and they had setbacks. Watching how they handled these things made me love and respect them that much more. Watching this taught me more about Jesus and his constant grace. They take the time to communicate. They take the time to listen to each other. They actively work on watching their tone with each other. And they both humble themselves to the point of apologizing and saying they love each other each time. When they say I love you, it is not without meaning. It is intentional each time. They don’t let things build up and get swept under the rug.
 
They are constantly working to communicate with one another and show Christ’s love and grace. They work so incredibly hard. And while they may fight passionately, they love so passionately, because they have a love rooted and founded in Jesus. They love him more than they love themselves, which allows them to love each other so well. It’s not perfect, in fact is messy and hard, and that’s the beauty of it. It’s a perfect illustration of our relationship with God. Take every aspect of their relationship that I mentioned, and you can easily correlate it back to our relationship with God. This is why marriage is described in the Bible as an active picture of the Gospel. It all connects back to Him. Seeing all of this in one week in the first 6 months of their marriage, I can only burst with excitement when thinking about the rest of their lives together, and what God has in store for them. God is faithful and he is so good, and his goodness and faithfulness was affirmed in me through Zach and Haley. So I thank you two, not only for welcoming me with love and open arms into your home and letting me invade for an entire week, and being there for one of the most fun weeks, but also for leading me closer to Jesus by simply walking in the truth individually and together and displaying the Gospel of Jesus. I love you both so much.  
Love,  Katy

by example

To give up is to gain

in the process of writing publicly,
I've given up the luxury of pretending that life is easy, all the time.

but i have gained a community of people who encourage and say to me,

my life isn't perfect either and that is ok!

Zach and i are giving up different things for lent this year,

he is giving up all sweets and every beverage other than water and tea.

i am giving up sweets and bread.

And as I was walking to the metro this morning, I realized that

most of the major gains in  my life have come from sacrificing something.

In this case, we are giving something up,

to gain perspective and deeper dependency on the Father.

In giving things up, I free up space in my mind to
think creatively and love selflessly.
As we are being intentional about what we do and do not eat,
we are also intentionally focusing on a spiritual weakness in our marriage.
Praying together

We both believe in the power and value in prayer but
have realized that we are not seeking the Lord in that way, together.
Everyone speaks to Jesus in their own unique way.
In hearing my husband talk to the Father,

I get a deeper understanding of his heart.
I can hear the fierce respect and genuine tenderness in their relationship.
We give up and add these different things in an attempt
to express our thankfulness for the sacrifices Jesus made for us.
For forty days He fasted in love and obedience to the Father.
He leads us, His children by example.
-hay

ps
This past weekend Zach and i took a trip to Norfolk, Va  for his birthday.
We ate at a really nice steakhouse and went to the imagine dragons show,
as we danced and sang our hearts out. 
On our way back we had brunch at a precious local diner.
We toured the Naval museum and explored the USS Wisconsin.
We stopped at chikfila and the 'Swingkings' batting cages/driving rage.
We weren't in a hurry and we weren't worried about anything other than each other.
it was wonderful.