everything changed

i met Zach when i was sixteen and he was seventeen.

i was at my best friends house and he came over with one of our close friends.

the only thing i can truly remember about that day was that we played basketball,

boys vs girls and we (the girls) lost.

Zach and I didn't actually start dating until the May after my freshman year of college. 

On that day, in my friends driveway nothing felt significant,

I actually only remember being pissed that they beat us.

Looking back, I love to imagine God being out there with us,

watching Zach and I meet for the first time.

A moment He planned since before we were born.

I love to think that He laughed a little at our dismissal of one another and lovingly thought,

you have no idea how much you will change each other's lives.

I love that we had two years of friendship before we started dating

but I always wished I could go back to that moment with God's perspective.

At sixteen I was not thinking about significant encounters, but God was.

He took two years to prepare my eighteen year old heart to take the first steps

of what would be a lifetime with this man.

At eighteen i couldn't have guessed how our story would have played out.

Falling in love with Zach was the messiest and most beautiful thing

i have ever encountered. 

When my eyes were opened to the fact that he was the one my heart loved and longed for,

everything changed. 

Throughout every step, it has felt like we couldn't possibly love each other more.

Dating, getting engaged, getting married, every time our hearts grew

closer and closer,

stronger and stronger.

But now here we are and our hearts have completely exploded.

God started a work in us on a driveway seven years ago

that eventually became the marriage we have today and

has now created life.

Before, the love God created in us could only be felt by our hearts,

but now I can feel it in my stomach.

In June we will be able to see our love in human form,

in our baby.

just yet

October came and went.

As soon as I wrote my last blog it felt like time slowed down,

a lot.

The days seemed longer and the weather is definitely colder.

Zach and I are moving back to Texas in December and for anyone who has made a big move, you know there are so many mixed emotions that come with that.

Excitement for the new home and sadness for the one you're leaving behind. I am not dealing with those emotions just yet.

I know that in the coming weeks there will be both kinds of tears but October wasn't for that. Like I said, the fall isn't for looking back or looking ahead, it's for right now. And today I spent my time watching over kids that I have come to absolutely adore, having dinner with my husband and thinking I should probably shave my legs soon.

I haven't written this month because I really wasn't pushing myself to thoughts much deeper than that. And for a short time, that's alright with me.

Limbo is the word that came to my mind a lot in the last month. Functioning during this in between time of anticipating a move and enjoying the last memories of this home have been sweet and confusing.

In one month, when we move I will let all of these emotions come over me and I'm sure, will throw them up here,

but until then I am content.

Last night, we were sitting in our little apartment eating dinner and I was overwhelmed with the feeling of contentment.

Realizing that big life changes are welcome when you have, so much grace from God and so much love for the person you are facing all of it with. 

-haley