one inhale

Yesterday was the first official day of fall. I sometimes cannot believe how much different life can be from one year to the next. On this day last year I wrote a blog, talking about how Zach and I had just conquered our longest consecutive hangout streak (22 days)! Now being over a year married, that is so crazy to me, but also a great reminder of how God gave us exactly the amount of strength we needed to go through being apart for so long. Also, I didn't share the news on the blog at the time, but that was also the day we found out we were no longer going to Europe for three years! What a great day. Flash forward three hundred and sixty five days and here we are. This day wasn't as exciting as that day but it is was a beautiful day.

In thinking about the seasons changing, I have come to the realization that I have never fully appreciated the fall months like i should. During my four years in college, the fall meant waking up at 5:30am to work out. Maybe that's what tainted fall for me? But even without the brutal hours, I think it is natural for most of us to glance over fall, in anticipation for the holiday season!

I know for me last year, autumn was a challenging time. I was really struggling with transitioning into a new place and not to mention, a totally new roommate. I spent my time counting down the days until holidays would come so we could see our families. There is nothing wrong with being excited to see loved ones, but like it was told to me a thousand times in softball,

we can't count the days, we have to make the days count.

Looking back, at where I was a year ago, I am so thankful to have struggled through some of those challenges, because I learned so much.

But this year is different.

I want to spend the next two months resting and rejuvenating. Unfortunately, the holiday season can be a time of stress. Sometimes we feel like it's ok because we are stressing about "good things", like gifts, food, plane tickets, scheduling, etc. And it's all in the name of being with the one's we love! But nonetheless, whether your making the turkey, trying to figure out what to buy for twenty people, designing the Christmas card or just hoping your fantasy team will pull through, stress will more than likely try to creep up!

So let's enjoy the fall for what it is,

not a time to "gear up" for the coming months but a time to do things that allow our souls to grow,

things that we love.

Eat dinner outside, read a great book, join a yoga class, play on a softball team, hug your babies more, light a million candles, dance with your person, go to bed earlier, go to bed later, spend mornings with Jesus, cry, laugh, picnic, take a photo everyday.

Clear out the all of the voices in your head that talk to you about your short comings and inabilities.

I want to take really long, deep breaths and remember that, whether today we are celebrating, crying, laughing or just sitting on the couch and watching tv,

it is a beautiful life and I want to experience it one inhale at a time.

-haley

recognizing it

Seven year old-"when it's summer it's to hot so I want it to be winter and when it's winter it's to cold so I want it to be summer"

Me-"you can't always wish away the season that you're in, you just have to try and enjoy it."

As soon as my response came out of my mouth I knew I wasn't talking about the weather any more.

Enjoying the season of life that you are in can be incredibly easy or enormously challenging. We live in a world of comparison.

The number one reason for comparison used to be people in magazines, how they look and the fact that we don't look that way.

But a new movement, bringing the realities of air brushing to light, has helped that catalyst for comparison to die down.

What has come up in it's place? Social media.

I love social media. I love seeing pictures of my family and friends, I love sharing with a community in an easy way.

There are truly so many positive things that come from connecting through social media.

Comparison is not one of them.

A lot of times, it isn't our intention but other times we can feel ourselves doing it. Mentally, we are making a bulletin board of our lives and putting them beside someone else's, with a 'vs' between the two.

Over time this way of thinking starts to eat away at our confidence and most often, comes up in hurtful ways.

It's the annoyance of feeling like someone else's marriage seems more romantic than your own. It's the struggle of the new mom who feels insecure about her body and it's the sadness of the person who is lonely, once again 'liking' someone else's engagement announcement.

Comparing myself to others sometimes feels out of my control.

The thought happens so quickly I almost don't even recognize it. But when I was explaining to a seven year old to 'enjoy the season she's in', it hit me.

When I am envious of someone else's circumstance, I am not appreciating my own.

And even though some seasons of life are as cold as ice, they are NOT without purpose. 

No experience, struggle or hurt is ever waisted on you.

God has given us fellowship with others so that we can run this race together. 

Not to slow up, look up and down and think "she has at least ten pounds on me" NO!

It's so that we can encourage each other.

In closing the door to comparison, we open up room for way more love.

and love always wins.

-haley

year one

Z,

I can't put into words what the last 365 days have meant to me. 

God's promise of abundant life becomes something I can feel,

when I reach out and touch you. 

You have a strong heart and a compassion for people that inspires me.

I am constantly learning from you.

Three hundred and sixty six days ago, I thought I knew what marriage would be like.

This last year of marriage has not been what I predicted but it has been exactly what God planned. 

At times we were frustrated and confused.

Wanting to communicate our hurts and fears but having no clue how to do that.

Other times, we have been dancing on the moon together.

God knew that we needed to work through and experience these different emotions to begin building a strong, sustaining marriage, and I am grateful for all of it. Every high and low in the last year has brought us to today.

I can hardly believe it. 

Z, thank you for being you, because that is literally my favorite person in the world.

Being your wife is my greatest treasure.

Your love changes me.

I chose you then and I will choose you every single day of my life.

i love you

Hay