deserves to be celebrated

February twenty sixth nineteen ninety. 

what an epic day.

i wasn't on the earth yet but this day is actually very important to my life story.

on that day, the person who would change and shape my life entered the world.

my

soul mate

greatest friend

lover

boo

partner

mate

husband

His birthday is such an important day to me.

In the past three years, Zach's birthday's haven't been great.

 Away from his closest friends, family and me. 

But not this year. This year is very different.

Zach is not alone.

We are making up for the years that this day was passed off as,

another twenty four hours to get through

The reason is simply that,

his life deserves to be celebrated.

He is someone who carries a spirit of joy into every situation.

He is unselfish, patient, kind, hilarious and sensitive.

Z is someone who everybody loves to be around.

He is knowledgeable about sports, music and movies.

His passions are infectious. 

He is an encourager and an up lifter.

He is a Senior Airman in the United States Air Force.

His laugh comes from the depths of his soul and to me,

there is no sweeter sound.

To me,

ZacharyJordan is a leader and protector.

he's the perfect compliment to my personality,

the wisest and most stubborn person to fight with.

he is strong in heart and gentle in spirit.

he is my one and only, my forever and two days.

he is my punching bag and my pillow.

he's my twenty four year old husband who doubles as my

superhero.

he loves God and he loves me.

i have to celebrate his birth,

because i am so grateful for his life.

my favorite picture in the world

happy birthday love

-hay

an unfair love

In six months of being married, i have learned a lot.

i have learned that..

he can't read my mind and will never be able to.

sarcasm makes the fight worse.

it is okay to disappoint each other.

and that God made me for this man in such a specific way.

However, in this short time the biggest and possibly

most important lesson has been to remember that

there was no if  in my marriage vows.

At my wedding I didn't say,

"when you are sick I will take care of you IF you take care of me when I'm sick"

or "I will faithfully walk with you IF you faithfully walk with me."

Although I professed everything before the if ,

my actions, in so many situations have been focused on the if.

My kindness, respect and affection towards Zach, can so many times,

rely on if he is showing those things to me.

Because, for some reason, I have never been able to get

over the concept of "what is fair." 

Even at an early age, I can remember judging everything

based on a scale of fair or not fair and that would determine my actions.

When I was twelve, my scale got completely tipped over and mixed up.

A story of a loving God, becoming a perfect man, for the purpose of

taking all of my imperfections and unfairness towards others,

being punished and dying for them,

so that I would never have to face that fate. 

This was hard for me to grasp.

It was the most unfair thing I had ever heard and I truly did search for the why.

Why would God do this?

It didn't make sense because it just isn't how our world works.

Innocent people don't give up their lives for guilty people.

The answer became clear through the gentle whisper of the Holy Spirit,

That may not be how the world works but that is how the love of God works.

To love someone, means not living for what is fair to you but for what is best for them. 

When my actions towards Zach are based on his actions towards me,

I am not loving him with the love of God and I am not loving him in the

way that I vowed I would.

This is something I will never be perfect at. It isn't in our nature.

I am blessed to have a man who loves God and prays through

these challenge along side of me. 

Renewing vows is something that people do for their anniversary

but in this household,

I find myself needing to renew them in my head daily.

I will not treat my husband based on what I think is fair

but in the way that the Father has shown me.

With a beautiful and unfair love.

-haley

exchanging our vows

will always be apart of me

There were a few things that I missed out on.

Birthday parties, a couple of homecomings and the chance to be the mascot,

my senior year in high school.

What was I doing?

Softball. 

By the time I was ten, I was practicing four times a week,

twice a week with my team and twice a week with my sister's team. 

I loved it...

well not every minute of it.

There were definitely days that my mom had to drag me to practice

and my dad had to yell at me to 'pick it up' when I got there.

I didn't always have the best attitude and I could be difficult to coach.

But I loved it.

It is always so much fun to watch the Olympics.

Seeing people do incredibly difficult things while making them look easy,

 has Zach and I glued to the television. 

In watching the winter and summer Olympics I always find myself

imagining everything that athlete went through to get to this point. 

They are the greatest at their given sport.

Their entire lives, dedicated to athletics,

specifically the last four years of it, to reach this point.

It's incredible.

I truly love athletics and have been an athlete my entire life.

As this past weekend also marked the beginning of the college softball season,

I've been thinking about my journey to and through Texas State.

And like any strong memory, a few things stick out more than the others.

Unfortunately, my personality causes the losses and mistakes

to burn in my brain more than I would like for them to. 

But there is also the incredible memories of lifelong friendships being made and

accomplishing incredible things with people that I truly love.

I go to my parents house, look at my old batting cage

and realize that most people look at it and see

a couple of tee's, a net and some softballs.

That bothers me.

Only because when I look at it, I see

weeks of drills, months of swings and years of hard work.

But most importantly, when I look at that old cage,

I see the cornerstone of a relationship between a patient dad (coach)

and a stubborn daughter (athlete).

My teammates, whether I was ten or twenty have been some of the most

influential people in my life.

When I was younger, we spent our time laughing and

calming each other's nerves about the uncertainty of our futures.

In college, my teammates helped get me through the heartache

of a long distance relationship

and were bridesmaids in my wedding.

So maybe I did miss out on a few things.

But those parties and small memories, carry no weight

in comparison to what I gained through committing so much of my time and emotion

to the sport that I loved,

with the people who loved it the same.

It was a journey I will never forget.

-Haley