Strength

February has been a month of some really beautiful realizations and life was celebrated in every way.

We rejoiced with our son on his first birthday, Zach on his 28^th and we celebrated the life of a woman known for her strength.

While Zach and I were on a trip, we got a call letting us know that his grandmother had passed away.

Coming home and going to her service was hard.

At the end of the day, funerals suck. Every time I hear the person at the front say ‘today, we rejoice and celebrate’ all I think is, ya we get it but I don’t feel like rejoicing today.

No, today I feel like being sad. Today sucks.

I know that may come across as insensitive but that’s really not my intention.

I have been to a lot of funerals in my life and I think it’s okay (and necessary) to accept a loss in stages.

For me, I am sad before am I ready to celebrate.

Sitting in the service, listening to everyone speak I started to notice a theme.

Once I noticed it, I realized it was every person saying the same thing.

‘She was a strong women’

Over and over again people spoke of her strength.

Her strength when her husband went overseas.

Her strength in raising six children.

Her strength after losing her beloved husband.

She was not weakened by hardship but strengthen through the journey.

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In some cases, weathering a lot of storms weakens the house.

It is nothing to be ashamed of and sometimes you don’t even have control of how the walls were built.

It is with a good foundation, that a house stands.

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Zach’s family is strong.

Watching Zach’s dad say goodbye to his mother was heartbreaking.

Something I didn’t think would affect me as much as it did, was watching my mother in law say goodbye to hers.

When I got married, I always thought we would keep things happy and cordial but in the past few years, we have developed a relationship that is real.

My mother in law and I have had some tough conversations.

We have made the decision to keep it real and through that, she is someone I genuinely trust and someone I lean on.

I am grateful to have a mother in law who is my advocate!

Instead of criticizing, she cheers me on

Instead of ‘I told you so’s’,

She say’s, ‘I’m here for you’.

My mother in law makes me feel like I am doing a great job at loving her son and her grandbabies. I honestly get emotional writing that because I know so many people who don’t get to experience that.

So much so, that I feel prompted.

If you are reading this and have a daughter or son in law, I ask that (no matter the relationship) you would call or send a text and tell them that

'You are grateful that they love your baby and your grandbabies so much.'

For me, I didn’t realize how much I appreciated that until I experienced my mother in law telling everyone in earshot, how great her mother in law.

So in the same spirit, I also challenge those of you with in laws to honor them by reaching out and saying,

'I am grateful for you, I love you and I will honor you by taking care of your son (or daughter) for all of my days.'

Choose love, always love,

Haley Gay