not a joke

we have all heard the jokes.

in movies, from people we know and on sitcoms

"my wife and i were happy for twenty five years, and then we got married" ha.

or one I read the other day,

"when a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her" hilarious.

I am now on a military health insurance plan so I had to get a physical yesterday.

My appointment was in the middle of the day on Zach's base
so he went into the room with me

for no other reason, than the fact that is was fun to see each other at 1 on a week day.

The doctor was having me take a deep breath and Zach was making me laugh

because of the eye contact we were making in the mirror.

She looked at both of us,

asked how long we had been married

and in response to our answer she said,

"figures"

My mom, who doubles as my bestie and voice of reason,

reminds me quite often, to not take things so personally.

And she's absolutely right, I take a lot of things straight to the heart,

even when that is not the intention of the person or institution. 

But either way, I haven't mastered that and there are some

phrases

sentences

jokes

or in this case, one word

that sticks with me..

'figures'. 

I love to hear about the experiences of others.

Hearing life stories and advice that comes from them,

is a treasure we have access to through simple conversations.

I have learned so much through listening to others

but I need to say,

it's sad how the image of a husband and wife changes
based on the amount of time they have spent together.

The doctor wasn't even trying to be negative,

but the idea that an 'obviously happy' married couple
 must be newlyweds, is haunting.
There are those who have been married much longer than I have,

will read this, chuckle and think
"this girl will see..give her a couple of years."
And of those people I ask for your encouragement,
rather than your sarcasm.
Because the reality, is that marriage does take work,
sometimes a lot of work.
It isn't always easy and yes, we are young.
In the place of a "classic" joke about how much sex we won't
be having in our future, maybe a joyful notion that there can be so
many incredible ways to grow in intimacy with your spouse. 
I am not a cynic who cant take a joke,
and I am not on a soapbox with a megaphone.
In my opinion, there is enough marriage satire to go around,
let's try a different approach. 
The fact remains that I am a 'newlywed'
and I am wildly, embarrassingly, inappropriately, irrevocably
in love with my husband and
I never want to stop being exactly who we are.
No matter what.
And I don't think that goal comes from being
young, naive or reckless.
Because we all know people,
who have been together for a while
and when they are on fire, just like when they first met
it is a sweet breath of fresh air.
-hay