his first gift

This first Christmas as a married couple has me thinking about our first Christmas ever, as a couple.

It was in 2010 and Zach and I had been together for seven months.

Ten days after that Christmas morning, Z was headed to basic training

to begin his journey in the United States Air Force.

It is so easy for me to recall this time in our lives

because every moment was so vivid.

Every time I looked at him or touched him, I felt grateful.

The reality was that I was nineteen, he was twenty.

He was starting on this four year journey in the military

and I wasn't even halfway through my four year journey through college.

We didn't know where he would be living

and I knew I wasn't going anywhere for three more years.

We weren't really sure of much, and 

one of our greatest strengths

would eventually turn out to be one of our harshest realities. 

We have recklessly loved each other from the moment we started dating.

This type of disregard for emotional control does lead to some pretty

intense fights and dramatic proclamations of feelings.

But it also leads to a love and determination like I have never

experienced so strongly, in my entire life.

The first Christmas gift I ever received from Zach

is something I hope to give to our grandchildren one day.

It is a journal and it is my most valued possession.

He gave me this journal that he had written in, sixteen times.

When he went to basic training, he left me with the job

of continuing to write in it.

I did.

And we have switched, back and forth writing memories, fears and promises

in it for the last three years.

I share his very first entry with you today,

in amazement, of just how much we had ahead of us at the time he wrote it.

If you are struggling to find the perfect gift for someone

that you really care about,

in my opinion, words are the most valuable.

-haley gay

"Hey Haley, Merry Christmas

This is the first of a lifetime of Christmas

presents from me to you. As you know I am going to

be gone for a while and I am going to miss you

terribly. I know these next four years are going to

be difficult for us but I do believe with all I've

got you are the ONE God made me for and if I

am right as I pray that I am we will survive

this, we will grow stronger, and our Love will only

be that much (more) everlasting. I am not blind though,

I know there will be tough times. There will be days

that I don't want to get out of bed because I miss you

so bad but we will with God's help. And I hope this

book helps a little too.

So inside these pages are some of my favorite

moments and experiences I have had with you." 

-zachary jordan gay

(december twenty fifth, two thousand and ten)