four years ago today

Camping this weekend, i stared into the fire,

the flames can be intoxicating, the color and vibrance,

breathtaking.

as i sat there, next to my husband and a couple of friends i thought about

the flames, and how they can so quickly consume.

four years ago, i had a really great friend who i developed true feelings for.

a year leading up to our relationship, we pursued a friendship that was

hilarious, interesting and honest.

because of that foundation, deciding to be in a relationship

was simple for us. 

four years ago today i decided to be zach's girlfriend.

i was eighteen and we had fun, but i knew this wasn't a fling.

we continued the theme of being friends first, into our dating relationship.

friends fight

friends laugh

friends cry

friends disagree

friends don't judge

and friends accept you, exactly the way that you are.

This is what we fully expect from the people that are closest to us,

so why would we sacrifice that in a dating relationship.

i am not an expert but i have experience to share.

Dating just 'for fun' makes no sense to me.

In the end, one person had fun and the other ends up hurt.

Being honest about your feelings is underrated and

recklessness with your heart is painful. 

i believe in true, intimate love.

i think that vulnerability is invaluable,

and i recognize that i am blessed to have started my

journey with zach at eighteen. 

the night God revealed to me, that i was going to spend my life

with this man, Zach told me he was leaving for the Air Force.

then he hugged me. but it wasn't just any hug,

that hug felt like all consuming flames on my body.

Staring into the fire, at the campsite yesterday brought me back to that very moment.

 My soul, and Zach's soul, were set on fire by Christ, and that fire was great.

But together that fire will rage and burn until our love is perfected and Jesus is glorified.

Forever.